CHRISTY (GORDON) ADMIRAAL'S UNLIKELY STRING OF CELEBRITY CRUSHES, IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER
1. Mark Summers. Between the ages of 1 and 4, my crushes were at their disturbing apex. My first celebrity love was the host of Double Dare and What Would You Do, Mark Summers. Now, Summers is perhaps best known for his obsessive compulsive disorder and as a Food Network personality, hosting Unwrapped (which I watch too often for it to be a coincidence). I'm told I was glued to the TV whenever Nickelodeon game shows hit the screen, particularly those with giant pies.
2. Reginald VelJohnson. This I can actually remember. I'm the rare person whose memories start around 4 and keep going from there. VelJohnson plays the father on Family Matters, a show I was especially interested in during the golden age of the TGIF Lineup on ABC. Of any of these, this one intrigues me the most, but I'm sure it would take years of therapy to uncover my 4-year-old reasoning.
3. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Here we encounter something substantially less interesting. Every girl between the ages of 7 and 15 had a thing for JTT when Home Improvement was at its peak. Looking at my past record, this one is shockingly normal, but that's what happens when your parents send you to school. (How dare they?)
4. Zack de la Rocha. Oh, don't worry, it gets weird again. Why was I even listening to Rage Against the Machine at age 11? Further, why would I ever find dreadlocks acceptable on a man, even encouraged? Granted, he's still cute in my eyes. But that changes nothing of this strangeness.
5. JC Chasez. It would be a crime to leave JC, my favorite member of *NSYNC, off this list. To date, this is my most serious crush on a completely unobtainable person. I still understand my middle school psyche on this one. He's clearly not a homosexual, his eyes and facial structure are remarkable, and his voice was my favorite of any guy in any boy band. (Aside: I will now admit that Justin Timberlake's is better.) So there you have it. I went through a thoroughly typical period before returning to quirkiness. Maybe I'm normal after all.
6. Alan Rickman. Then again, maybe I'm not. Somewhere in there, my crush on Tom Felton, AKA Draco Malfoy, was a bigger deal than my love for the man who would be Severus Snape, Alan Rickman. However, the thing with Rickman lasted much longer, in that it's ongoing. I really don't think there's a better looking man over 50 in Hollywood today, and I imagine I won't be changing mind anytime soon. (Sorry, Liam Neeson.)
7. Tahmoh Penikett. If Tahmoh Penikett was on a crime serial or something, then everyone would have a crush on him. Such as it is, he's just (in my mind) the most attractive male in all of Battlestar Galactica, and that's a pretty hard title to grab. He's a pretty one note actor, but he nails that one note every time. Also, he has the best muscle tone of anyone on this list, and that has to count for something.
8. James Marsters. Hello, Present Day Number One. Realistically, Marsters is the only person on this list I'll ever actually meet, assuming I go to Dragon*Con this year as I'd like to. And he's also the person I'd most like to meet. Far and away my favorite actor on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, he's as good looking at 47 as he was ten years ago (unbelievably, he was already in his 30s on Buffy). He's also down to earth, with a good sense of humor, and he's in a band. I can find no better justification than that, except maybe his fake British accent.
So, there you have it. Is your list as strange or varied as mine? I'd guess not. But there's no shame in that, or any choice you might make. I think I've proven that.
This is my favorite.
ReplyDelete